Following up on my piece on truthiness in erotica, I wanted to touch on the fallacy of the “Dom as cool, calm, collected, and in control at all times” notion.
As someone with (ahem) submissive leanings, I would love to believe that Doms inherently know all the right things to do, say, and share at any given moment. Of course they do, right??
For example, I sleep better at night without worrying about the things that Mr. Elise has placed outside of my control. But even he catches the occasional man cold or gets stressed about work. He’s human.
And the Doms in my novels)? They’re seasoned (and devilishly handsome) experts at tuning into the needs of the women in their lives. But even they struggle with their own anxieties and shortcomings—agoraphobia, PTSD, navigating loss, etc. They’re human…well, kinda sorta.
The point is that occasionally Doms, just like the subs that adore and serve them, need some TLC, grace, and special attention. As Mr. Elise often reminds me, “We take care of each other, just in different ways.”
So whether it’s a case of Domdrop, anxiety, frustration, stress, or something altogether different, it’s vital to find a way to tune into their needs, to meet them where they are, and to forge a path forward.
After all, they’re human.
Jaye Elise writes... 