So, if you made it past the title and are now reading this, thank you for hanging in there! Despite what you might think, one of my kinks isn’t using big words…although I am an unabashedly hardcore sapiosexual. 😉 

For those of you who don’t know and aren’t in the mood to waste a browser tab on looking it up (and I don’t blame you one bit), “verisimilitudinous” means having the appearance of being true or believable. It’s truthiness. 

I won’t speak for other BDSM, D/s, fetish, and/or erotica authors here, but from my own experience, I find that I skirt a razor’s edge of verisimilitude every time I sit down to write. 

I have to capture how the characters navigate their world, making sure that it’s sexy, yet focused enough to drive the plot. 

I have to describe intense scenes of power exchange, Dominance and submission, unorthodox practices, and sexual delights and torments that, in some cases, don’t even exist while capturing the very real emotional struggles and growth that come with these exchanges.

I have to draw from personal experience, when possible, while also making sure to not share too much.

The best kind of kink, for my money, is the verisimilitudinous kind. The kind that gives you just enough reality to suspend disbelief on some of the more far-fetched fantasy. The kind that pulls you into its world and holds you captive with curiosity, desire, and longing for what the characters are experiencing. The kind that sinks its teeth into your core and doesn’t let go until it’s through with you.

But for those of us who write erotic fiction, verisimilitudinous kink can be a liability. Where does the fantasy end and reality begin? How can you reconcile the extreme practices of some of your characters within the bounds of safe, sane, and consensual? 

And, most importantly, how to write this truth-y fiction without baring your soul to the entire world? 

Verisimilitudinous Kink

/ Jaye Elise / 5 Comments

5 thoughts on “Verisimilitudinous Kink”

  1. Having both written erotica (“Meet & Eat” continues to be my most popular, it was inspired by a fantasy!) and written about my real BDSM experiences, I find it an interesting thing. On the one hand, I tend not to go into the fabricattion of BDSM living: simply put, I live enough of an exciting reality not to need to make it up! People enjoy the authentic experiences that I share on both of my blogs. Even people who aren’t actively into BDSM have mentioned it.

    On the other hand, however, I do also understand not wanting to expose yourself to the world – it’s an intimate thing, and you don’t want to be too exposed in it. What I will say, perhaps, is that Elena is not my real name.

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    • Love this, Elena – thank you for sharing! I applaud your commitment to authenticity and your ability to share that with your readership. 🙂
      And yes, that delicate dance between exposure and privacy is one that I’m still working to master.
      It’s lovely to meet you!

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  2. Hmmm…I’ll take the questions in their order.

    The line betwee fantasy and reality is sometimes thick as the Wall of China or thinner than motel toilet paper. I’m a believer in creating your own reality to an extent. There are prices to pay and patience needed but one can connect the two. I’d say reality begins with what you truly can live with having done.

    Reconcile with who? My conscience? I have no trouble accepting that some of my writing is much harsher than I would ever be in real life situations. Having said that, I can still relate to the emotions on both sides of a harsher situation as that…if I couldn’t then I couldn’t write it very well. I’ve only written two stories that explicitly involve coercion of any kind. I did what I could to warn those who would read them. I don’t feel responsible for who ignores those warnings and don’t feel responsible for those who read them and are motivated to think such behaviors are the norm.

    Lastly, I don’t think you can write authentically without baring your soul to the entire world. It’s why we, or at least I, use pen names for our blogs and our stories/novels. We let a precious few see behind the Wizard of Oz curtain…and even then we still have layers of privacy we jealously guard.

    My more than two cents 🙂

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