Someone recently shared with me the Lana Turner quote “A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.” I’d never heard this one before, and it gave me some food for thought. There are a number of ways to interpret this quote, especially within the context of D/s, so I thought I’d mull it over a bit and then throw it out to the comments section to see what you all thought. 

At first glance, there’s a cynical (yet understandable) matter-of-factness to the expression. The implication is that all men are inherently wolves—dangerous, feral, threatening—and that a gentleman is a wolf who knows how to temper these urges slightly better than their counterparts. Although reductive, we can find the echoes of this sentiment in the “man or bear” question that’s been making the rounds for the past year or so.

But if we peel back the onion a bit and look at the expression through a D/s lens, I would argue there’s a different tack we could take here. Perhaps the wolf’s characteristics aren’t dangerous, feral, and threatening, but rather cunning, intelligent, and determined. And when we add “patient” to the mix, this wolf is a sublime manifestation of all that is dominant. He commands respect, he won’t be ignored, he will be obeyed…and he will outlast you no matter how long you resist him. Hmmm…

In all fairness, I’m not so sure that Ms. Turner would agree with this second interpretation, but at least we can engage in some healthy debate about our patient, gentlemanly wolves. 😉

What’s your take on the expression? I’d love to hear your thoughts! 🐺

The Patient Wolf

/ Jaye Elise / 15 Comments

15 thoughts on “The Patient Wolf”

  1. I hadn’t heard that before; it made me smile. And your thoughts on the subject provoked some of my own. I would consider myself a gentleman, even if not a perfect one. I have much more patience now than when I was younger but there are still some limits. But am I wolf? Perhaps I’m still exploring. Perhaps that’s something a sheep might (not) want to test.

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  3. Oh, I’d argue Lana knew and agreed with the second definition interpretation you made. She certainly dealt with her share of “gentleman.” I’d venture any submissive worth her…salt…knows about gentle wolves and the more plundering-kind that Jake mentioned.

    I used a wolf motif years ago in another incarnation. Perhaps it is time to resurrect it 😏😈😎🐺

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    • Great take on this, Jon! And I had no idea you’d used a wolf motif before! 🐺😂 Although why am I not surprised? 😉

      You bring up an excellent point in your response – something that I didn’t catch in my original assessment. Despite the use of the word “gentleman,” in neither definition of the wolf, did I use the word “gentle” to describe their nature. A wolf can’t change its nature – no more than a Dominant or a submissive can – but the truly patient ones (not necessarily the gentle ones) are the ones who reap the true benefits.

      Or maybe I’m just reading too much into Ms. Turner’s expression! 😂 Happy Friday!

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  6. Anthropomorphic. Usually stay away from these because im not kin to using Biology to discuss human behavior.
    I think the link is that of a predator, that plunders the virginity of women and forcefully takes them.

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